> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://acmewong.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Fern and the Funny Bone, Part Two - URL: https://acmewong.com/fern-and-the-funny-bone-part-two/ - Published: 2026-10-04T00:24:16.000Z - Updated: 2026-10-04T00:30:29.000Z - Author: Acme Wong Fern followed Marmar down the long, white corridor that led from the dining hall toward the royal wing of the Temporal Palace. Glowing garbulary gems decorated the walls of the vast hallway in symmetrical, hypnotizing patterns. *What were they for again?* Fern wondered. *Pretty sure Marmar was just going on about them and the construction of the palace and sacred geometry and blah blah blah.* Marmar looked back at Fern and frowned at his pupil as they made their way down the corridor. "Prince Fern, you cannot . . . I cannot . . . That was . . . No, no, your father will know what to do about your . . . behavior." "Do we *really* have to tell him?" Fern whined. "Of course. This is far above my station. Far above anyone's station. Anyone but your father or—" Marmar winced as he realized what he was about to say. "Yeah, Marmar? Go ahead, say it," Fern said, his voice louder. Marmar turned, zipping down another hallway, as if a sharp turn could shake off the uncomfortable conversation that now chased him. "I, Fernibulus Polyglorp, Prince of Time, command you to finish your sentence." Marmar stopped. Fern had to swivel and pivot to avoid crashing into him. "My sincerest apologies, Young Prince, I spoke quickly and gave little thought to what I—" "Say. It. MarbaxabraM." Was that the first time Fern had ever actually used Marmar's real name? Slowly, Marmar turned to face Fern, his head hung low. "Anyone but your father or mother, who I realize—" "Is dead," Fern said, cutting Marmar off again. Marmar opened his mouth, then closed it. "It's okay, Marmar. I'm not mad. She's not gone. I can still feel her, right in here." Fern pointed at the center of his chest and then skipped ahead down the hall. "If we're gonna tell him, then let's get it over with." "Young Prince, not so fast!" Marmar hurried forward, trying to catch up to Fern who skipped down the corridor toward the throne room. "W-wait!" By the time Marmar caught up, Fern had both hands on the ornate handle of the left throne room door. If the doors to the dining hall were extra, these doors were *galactically* extra. So tall, wide, and heavy that an eleven-year-old had to use his whole body to pull one open. Fern pulled with the might of his million-billion cells, but the door didn't budge like it normally would. He looked over and shouted, "Hey!" as he noticed Marmar's hands pressing against the door. "That's cheating!" Speaking between huffs and puffs, Marmar replied, "Young Prince. You disrupted. One meal. You'll not. Disrupt another." "I object! Nonsense of the highest order, Marmar! This isn't Father's mealtime." Fern pulled at the door again, grunting loudly as he did, but couldn't get it to budge, not even a little. *Timelines! What do they feed these Officials? How can someone so old be so much stronger than me?* Fern thought. The two Temporal Guards, who Fern hadn't even noticed, locked eyes and smirked, then went back to standing perfectly still while Fern and Marmar argued over the door. "Young Prince! Your father is holding court, taking petitions from dignitaries from across the galaxy. We mustn't—" Ignoring Marmar, Fern gave the door one final pull with all his might and, to his astonishment, it opened with such force that they both had to scamper backward to avoid being swept away by it. A tall, robed reptilian stepped through the opening doors as a couple of Temporal Guards stationed on the *inside* of the throne room pushed them open. *Great timing, boys!* "Oopth, excooth meeth," the reptilian dignitary said, walking around Fern and Marmar as he made his way toward the spaceporter station. *Funny bone, here I come.* "Greetings, Father," Fern proclaimed as he made his grand entrance into the throne room, passing waving banners and tendrils from hanging plants that flowed through the air of the well-ventilated chamber. Time King Klaxon made his way down from the Temporal Throne, done with his petitions for the day. Fern stepped up to the throne, throwing his right arm out to the side as he bowed, like an actor before an applauding audience. Bent forward, Fern discreetly peeked at the back of the throne room, where a faint blue glow pulsed from a hidden crevice. *Perfect, still there.* Taking a step past Fern, Marmar gently knocked the ridiculously outstretched arm downward and bowed respectfully before his king. "Your Timeliness," Marmar announced, "I must inform you that—" "Father!" Fern pushed forward, stepped in front of Marmar, and begged, "Father, I just heard and I must know, why did the starfowl activate a spaceporter and lock itself inside?" "A starfowl did what?" his father demanded. ". . . to get to the other side, Father. The other side of the wormhole. Father, fowls like worms. Wormhole, Father." The Time King stared blankly at his son, his mind trying to comprehend what his child was saying. And then the king's right palm swiftly met his own forehead, his elbow out in front of him, wide open. The signal. Kosmo shot out of the crevice set to maximum velocity, a streak of neon blue lightning. *Was maximum velocity too much velocity?* Fern pondered, as if he could do anything about it now. Kosmo swung around from the king's blind spot and slammed into the inside of his raised elbow. A direct funny bone hit. The Time King let out a mighty roar, filling the chamber with an impossibly loud and frighteningly vulnerable cry of pain. *It worked*, Fern thought. But it wasn't funny. Not to Fern, and definitely not to his father. Alarmed by his king's roar, Marmar clapped his hands over his ears. Fern scrunched up his face. He couldn't bear it either. This was wrong. He hadn't meant to hurt Father, not like this, and his father's pain scared him like nothing else ever had before. Fern pressed his hands into his face, wishing this nightmare had never happened, wishing he'd never come up with this stupid plan. And then it stopped. Silence. Fern turned and looked at Marmar's elderly face twisted in an unmoving grimace. His wrinkled hands, which never actually made it all the way to his ears, hung frozen in the air. Fern looked around the throne room at the banners and plant tendrils and everything that normally flowed, only to find it all as still as a 3D holopic. Time had stopped. *Whoa.* And there was Kosmo's trail, a streak of blue light hanging in the air. Fern walked over to the crevice where he had hidden his Kosmorbic Transmogulator early that morning and followed the trail up to his father's elbow, then up toward the ceiling. Kosmo, a marble-sized orb of glowing blue light, hung frozen in time high above his father's head. Fern had made a deal with Kosmo to strike the king's funny bone if Fern was able to expose it with a bad joke. *I just . . . saw it happening differently in my mind.* Standing before his father, Fern looked up at his face, the mighty king's eyes full of pain as he cursed at the heavens. His father's left hand clutched at his right elbow, frozen in time, and in Fern's periphery he thought he saw something move. Fern glanced back, but instead of looking up toward heaven, the king's eyes were now on him. "FERNIBULUS!"