Static
Daily journal time, let’s go.
Just now, before I started writing, I caught myself thinking about what I would write about.
That’s against the rules.
Any thinking is overthinking when it comes to the practice of stream-of-consciousness writing.
The whole point of this practice is to tap into Now, to write whatever is present in the moment.
Not to plan it out or try to make sure it will make sense or to think about what anyone else might think about it and begin editing it before even having started writing anything.
Have at least one thing in your life that you create freely.
It doesn’t have to be writing.
It could be just improvising a song on whatever musical instrument you play (or used to play).
It could be doodling or sketching.
It could be a whole list of things that I’m not going to list out, partially due to me not being particularly artsy or crafty.
All I know is, for me, there’s this very real and alive-feeling inner judge/critic that cares so much about what others will think.
“This is stupid.”
“That isn’t good enough.”
“Why would anyone care?”
“Who are you to write anything?”
“Anything you could ever write has already been written in a better way by someone else.”
“You aren’t worthy.”
“Just go play your video games, scroll on social media, check email, or watch TV.”
“Go distract yourself, go get some quick dopamine.”
“Stop trying to make stuff that nobody will ever care about.”
“Let the creators create and you just sit down and consume.”
“Creating anything yourself is a waste of time and energy, both for you and for anyone dumb enough to waste their time reading the garbage that you write.”
Ouch.
Our inner critic is ruthless.
My inner critic is particularly vile, but I’ve found that we can tune out the static of our ego, our inner judge, by increasing the signal that we have with the Muse, aka Inspiration, aka Source, and maybe even aka God.
When we make stuff, create art, write stories, or play music from the heart, from love, not to get approval from others or money or whatever else, we strengthen our connection to Inspiration and weaken our connection to Insecurity.
I don’t think our connection to either can ever truly be broken, but based on our daily actions, we can strengthen our connection to either one, Inspiration or Insecurity, depending on whether we act as a creator or as a consumer.
That said, I think we need both, to create and to consume (ideally slow-dopamine creations, like books or good movies/shows), but when it’s all consumption we can lose ourselves as creators, and when we lose that part of ourselves we become deeply insecure, whether we know it or not.
Fortunately, what is lost can always be found through creative acts.
